Preciouslies. Hubby tells Simone about evidence he’s hidden under the floor in their bedroom. Since they’re repeating this, it must have some significance in tonight’s episode. Simone kills her SIL and chases her niece Yasmin into the street where she is clobbered by a bus. Jack spirits Simone out of the hospital right before Ian fires a missile at it. Adrian tells IBM Manager to take care of Jordan. Scary Assassin shoots Jordan who falls into the canal. Boris tells ACOS (Asshole Chief of Staff) that he wants Jack and knows that ACOS forged Prez Biden’s signature on the rendition form to turn Jack over to the Rooskies. ACOS tells Boris that when the day is over, he’ll give him Jack. Mummy al Raghead tells Prez Biden if he surrenders himself to her no one else will die. Now that we’re all caught up, we’re off!
Simone is wheeled into the infirmary at the CIA site. The doctor tells Kate that Simone has an extradural hemorrhage. Actually, the real medical term for that would be an epidural hematoma. I know this stuff since I suffered from a subdural hematoma a few years ago at Snowmass when a newbie ran into me on my first day of skiing. Blew the whole season. Natasha Richardson died from an epiural hematoma as a result of a ski accident. Subdurals are much better than epidurals. subdurals are vein bleeding. epidurals are arterial bleeding. The Doc tells Kate that they’re gonna have to put her in a coma and drill into the brain to relieve the pressure. Fortunately, that wasn’t necessary when I had my brain bleed. He tells Kate she won’t be allowed to talk to her. Yeah. She’ll be awakened before the end of the hour.
Meanwhile, at Stately Jihad Central, they’re packing up to move to another site. Look at the size of that house! Wouldn’t you think there would have been some way to determine where they were by looking at tax records or a rental agreement? How can someone staying at a large estate like that go unnoticed? Mummy tells Ian that she just talked to Prez Biden who said he’d surrender to her if she destroyed the remaining drones. Ian’s not to hot about that idea. Then they climb into a black BMW X3 and split.
Jack’s sitting at the Prez Quarters waiting to see Prez Biden when Kate calls with an update on Simone. He tells her to wake her. If she dies, “so be it”.
IBM Manager calls Scary Assassin for an update on him greasing Jordan. Nope. “Make sure he’s dead.” Scary Assassin spots blood. Look! A trail I can follow.
Cut to a wet, bedraggled, bleeding Jordan looking at his ruined smart phone. Crap! Now he’s gotta find a pay phone to call IBM Manager.
Back to Jack who is being ushered into Prez Biden’s office. He plays Jack a recording of his conversation with Mummy and it’s stuff we haven’t seen yet. He agrees to be at the “center of the pitch” at Wembley Stadium. Must be a sissy soccer term that would correspond to the 50 yard line of football, a real man’s sport. He tells Mummy that he’ll do it if she “swears on the soul of her husband” that she’ll dump the remaining drones in the Channel of the coast off Dover. There’ll be dangerous drones over the white cliffs of Dover. She agrees. Will she keep her word? There’s still too much time remaining in the series, so I doubt it.
He shows Jack his letter of resignation effective at 7:00 PM. I sure hope his VP is better than the VP who succeeded the president in Season 4. Jack refuses to help until he tells him that he has Alzheimer’s and “in another year I won’t be able to recognize one face in the room”. So, just like our current VP Joe Biden. Jack agrees to help him get to Wembley Stadium in complete secrecy and to do it now. Jack tells him what he needs and they bring ACOS in on the plan. Then ACOS tries to talk him out of it to no avail.
While waiting for ACOS to take care of his shopping list, Jack calls Kate and tells her he needs to push Simone for info. He tells her what he and Prez Biden are planning to do. The only way to stop it is to find Mummy so “wake the bitch up!” Amazing! All the cuts on Kate’s face from the torture have magically healed. She no longer has a split lip. Simone, on the other hand, has prolly run out of options. The cut on her leg, the missing finger, and now being hit by a bus have finally taken their toll.
Kate tells the Doc to wake her up. The Doc refuses. Kate pulls a rod and demands it.
“She dies, it’s on your head.”
“Move quickly!”
Time’s a wastin’.
He puts sumpin in the line hooked to her nose. In the real world, it would prolly go into an IV line or he’d just inject her. I’d expect to see multiple bags hung on an IV line in the shape she’s in.
Kate questions Simone. She gives her the address of Jihad Central, “10 Broadmoor, Hampton” but sez Mummy won’t be there. She then tells Kate about the evidence Hubby stashed under the floor and her eyes roll back in her head and she passes out. Good thing she didn’t rat to Mummy about that. The Doc shoos Kate out of the infirmary and he goes back to work on Simone. Let her die. She’s of no use anymore.
Back at the Prez Quarters, Prez Biden puts Jack and ACOS into the same room together, tells them to put aside their differences, and tells them to work out a plan. Jack gives ACOS a list: Secret Service security protocols, Brit Security protocols, clear the halls, a car, a helicopter, and the security code for the gates at Wembley Stadium. He’ll have a chopper. Why not just fly into the stadium? ACOS sez he’ll call a staff meeting to clear the halls and will have the rest of the other shit shortly. He tells Jack that Audrey will never forgive him for this.
Add that to the list, like turning Jack over to the Rooskies.
Kate calls Jack and tells him there is a tac team on the way to Jihad Central. Better hope this isn’t a trap. She also sez that there is some info there that might give them a way to break into the drone program. Jack tells Kate to send the info to Chloe’s phone.
Prez Biden has a touching scene with Audrey as they look at her “lucky picture” of her, her mom, and Prez Biden. Good Photoshop work of putting a picture of a young William Devane in the photo. Little does Audrey know that this is the last time she’ll ever see him.
ACOS gives Jack some stuff and will send the rest when he gets it.
Back at the CIA IBM Manager gets a phone call from a wet, wounded, bedraggled Jordan and sez someone tried to kill him. Looks like he found a payphone. IBM Manager tells him he’ll send Eric (Black Dude) to come get him. Is this the same Eric that wasn’t able to go to the dead drop which is why Jordan had to go? Is Jordan wondering the same thing? Jordan tells him where he is.
“Stay where you are. You understand?” That will make it easy for Scary
Assassin to find you and finish the job.
IBM Manager calls Scary Assassin and tells him where to find Jordan. “Finish this, Now!”
WTF am I paying you for? This kids an analyst fer chrissakes. No bonus for you, Scary Assassin.
Back at the Prez Quarters Jack is removing a transponder from Prez Biden’s arm. We want to make sure the Secret Service thinks you’ve locked yourself in your office. Prez Biden puts on a dark jacket and a baseball cap, Jack puts his man purse over his shoulder, and he and Jack start working their way to an exit. They dodge all the Secret Service dudes but one and Jack cold cocks him. Then they exit the building and are on the streets of Merry Olde London Town.
Somewhere they pick up a car cause the next thing we see is Jack and Prez Biden pulling up to a parked helicopter. The dude there recognizes Prez Biden who tells him to “keep this between us”. Just wanna go for a little moonlight chopper ride with my friend Jack.
Whoa! Jack knows how to fly a chopper. Of course he does. Kewl!
Did I mention that my nephew just graduated from helicopter flight school at Fort Rucker, Alabama at the top of his class? He just made Warrant Office before he started and he beat out guys at flight school who went to West Point. In my experience, mustangs (enlisted guys who become officers) make the best officers. When I first transferred to the Iredell County, LST-839, our captain was a mustang. I served under three different captains and he was the best of the lot. My nephew is gonna fly Blackhawks.
Nice to see they’re wearing Dave Clark headphones. That’s the brand I bought when I was going to flight school. I logged six solo hours but had to drop out before I could get my license because some of the legal drugs I use are not approved by the FAA.
Yannow, I’m sure there would be absolutely no problem with an unknown helicopter flying in restricted airspace over London during a terrorist situation. That’s why no one has challenged the helo Jack and Prez Biden are in and asked them where they are going.
Meanwhile, Scary Assassin is looking for Jordan who slugs him and takes both of his guns. He tells him to put his hand behind his head and to stand up. No no Jordan. Keep him on his knees. That’s what the grownup agents do. He asks him why IBM Manager sent him to kill him and if he answers, he’ll let him go. Scary Assassin, realizing that Jordan is a rookie asks him if the safety on his gun is on or off. When Jordan checks, he jumps him and stabs him, but Jordan pulls a George Zimmerman and takes Scary Assassin’s other gun from his waistband and shoots him multiple times and kills Scary Assassin.
Scary Assassin’s phone starts ringing. It’s IBM Manager calling to see if the job is done. That’s not very smart. What if he were still sneaking up on Jordan? The camera goes to Jordan’s face where his eyes flutter and close. Is he dead? Who knows?
Back on the helo we get a nice shot of Tower Bridge all lit up with a full moon off to the right in the background. Relish that view Prez Biden. It’s gonna be one of the last things you’ll see.
Meanwhile the tac team is at Stately Jihad Central. All is quiet. It looks like no one is home. No traps? Mummy must be slipping. Maybe she’s afraid of losing her security deposit on Stately Jihad Central. They tear up the floor in Simone’s and Hubby’s bedroom (How did they know which room to look in?) and find a disc drive. They up0load it and send it to the CIA where Kate asks the creepy tech dude where Jordan is. He doesn’t know. She asks him to send the info the tac team uploaded to Chloe O’Brien.
“Chloe O’Brien?”
“Just do it!”
Kate updates IBM Manager and asks where Jordan is. IBM Manager plays dumb, which is an easy thing for him to do, and tells Kate he doesn’t know. (Lying dead in a motorcycle shop he hopes.)
And here we are at Jihad Central 2.0 and Ian has everything back on line and ready to rock and roll. Mummy tells Ian to position one drone at Wembley Stadium and the others for destruction once Prez Biden is dead. From the look Ian gives her, I don’t think that’s gonna happen. Plus we have a few more hours to go before this season ends.
Jack lands the chopper in from of the Stadium which is all lit up. Really? They leave it all lit up even when there isn’t an event there? I’d hate to see their electric bill. Chloe calls Jack with an update and bitches about her working conditions since she’s at a pub with a bunch of drunk Brits. Jack and Prez Biden exit the chopper and prepare to enter the stadium.
Back at the CIA, Adrian calls IBM Manager to see if he’s “taken care of the analyst”. Yep it’s taken care of.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
Here’s a question IBM Manager, why isn’t Scary Assassin answering his phone? But then, this guy is in management and management lies a lot, especially IBM management. When someone is promoted to management at IBM he has to have surgery to remove his spine, get his tongue forked and have holes poked in his cheeks so he can talk out of both sides of his mouth at the same time. Back in 1986 I was offered a chance to interview for a management position and I turned it down. Up until that point, I was my manager’s fair-haired boy. I really pissed him off when I told him I didn’t want to be a manager.
Adrian then calls Chloe. He’s found a new place and wants her to start working for him again. Remember, everyone at Hacker Den had to leave London because of the imminent drone attacks. Why then, are they still in London? Does his “new place” and “something he’s working on” have anything to do with the terrorists? I’ve speculated on this from the very beginning. Before he hangs up, he badmouths Jack. You can tell he’s jealous that Chloe would rather work with Jack than him. Jack is a lot more manly even though he does carry a man purse.
Back at the Prez Quarters, ACOS goes looking for Audrey (not a very long staff meeting) and finds her in Prez Biden’s office crying. She’s read his farewell letter. She finds out that ACOS knew and was a part of it. Is she pissed! She throws a hissy fit!
“I will never trust you again!”
Sometimes this guy is a weasel and sometimes he does good.
“Someone’s with him now?”
“Yes.”
“Who?”, she demands.
“Someone he trusts as he trusts me.”
That lampshade behind ACOS looks like a KFC box.
Holy crap! Now she’s really pissed since she’s figgered out it’s her former boyfriend.
Back at Wembley Stadium Prez Biden tells Jack that he’s given him a presidential pardon for killing all those Rooskies four years ago and for everything he’s gonna do today. “You can go home and see your family Jack.”
Presidential pardons are a dime a dozen on this show. Mandy got at least two of them. In the first season she blew up an airliner full of people and over the first four seasons she tried to assassinate David Palmer on at least two occasions. By the way, the second season of Defiance starts tonight on the SyFy channel. At the end of the first season, Mia Kirshner, who played Mandy on 24, was poisoned but we don’t know if it was fatal or not.
Chloe calls Jack and sez she’s made some progress in cracking the drown hacking program but she “needs more time”. Time’s up. Prez Biden walks out on the field and it’s not to throw the first pitch.
You can tell this episode is almost over because we go into split screen mode with four different views: Chloe hard at work in the pub. Prez Biden walking out on the field. Jordan’s face. Is he still alive? The doctors working on Simone. The display beside her shows that she still has a pulse. Will she live? Jordan is replaced by Audrey crying. The sad minor key music is reaching a crescendo. (That’s for you music majors.) Simone is replaced by Kate watching the doctors working on Simone. This has not been Simone’s day. It started downhill right after she killed Drone Hacker with her trusty knife.
We now go back to a full screen of Prez Biden walking to “the center of the pitch”.
Isn’t that neat? They put blue seats among the red seats to spell Wembley.
Prez Biden takes off his hat and glasses and looks to the sky.
We switch to Ian and Mummy with Ian flying the drone. He moves the drone in and sights on Prez Biden. “My God, he really is there.” Wouldn’t that be “Allah” instead of “God”? They fire up a facial recognition program and it matches.
Mummy tells Ian she wants to fire the missile herself. Ian puts her hand on the controller and she pushes the button to fire a missile.
The missile hits blows Prez Biden to bits and creates a nice big hole on the field. The Wembley Stadium grounds crew ain’t gonna like that one bit.
Kachunk! Kachunk! Kachunk!
Next week: Jack wants payback. Another missile is fired. Didn’t Mummy keep her word or was it fired by someone else? Is that Ian that Jack throws out a window of a building. Mummy screams.